Relationships 101:
How to Avoid Being a Jealous Betty


by Bonnie Burton

Jealously can turn the most logical girl into a paranoid, angry freak. If we don't watch it we can drive ourselves crazy thinking things like "Why is Charlie spending so much time with his cute tutor, Stephanie?" and "Charlie was never late for our dates before that new girl drummer joined his band."

So what's a girl to do with the green-eyed demon of envy possesses her every move? Here's a few tips on how to stay cool and collected when all you want to do is hire a private eye to follow around your beau.

Trust your heart.
The main reason we tend to get jealous is because we're afraid to fully trust someone. When you don't totally trust your boyfriend, you're always going to think something bad is going on behind your back. The only way to cure the Jealous Betty habit is to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you can't even do that much, then maybe you shouldn't be dating him in the first place.

Resist the temptation to snoop.
If there's one thing you should never, ever do  it's this one. You may have come across his journal by accident, but that doesn't give you the right to take a peak. Respect his privacy. How would you feel if your boyfriend decided to rummage through your backpack looking for notes from other fellas?

Eavesdropping is a bad idea.
You should have learned this tidbit by watching any TV sitcom. You know the plot. A suspicious girlfriend eavesdrops on her boyfriend's phone conversation. She only listens to half the discussion, which leads her to believe something that isn't true. Misunderstandings fly, and the poor girl ends up the loser. Do the mature thing and go into the other room when your boyfriend is on the phone. Or keep yourself busy somewhere else. Don't just sit there, staring at him until he hangs up the phone.

Guilt-trips will get you nowhere.
After the age of 5 years old, you really shouldn't pout and try to make people feel guilty for every little thing. If you act mopey when your boyfriend decides to spend time with one of his friends who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, you're just going to look juvenile and selfish.

Stay clear of ultimatums.
Demanding things like, "Don't ever see your little blonde friend Tiffany again, or you can find yourself another girlfriend," only leads to trouble. No one likes to be bossed around and told who he can or cannot be pals with. So before you give him an ultimatum, think about how you would react if the tables were turned. After all, if he doesn't spaz out because you have cute guys friends, why should you?

Look within yourself for the answers.
It may sound silly at first but this tip might save you plenty of pain in the long run. Perhaps you tend to be a Jealous Betty because you feel insecure about yourself. Maybe you simply assume your boyfriend wants to be with other girls because you don't think you're good enough to keep him interested. If that's the case then it's all up to you to change the way you feel about yourself. When you believe in yourself, you'll shine like the star you really are.


Return to Archive