Dating a stoner boy is kinda like dating a bean bag - he's cool in theory but makes a huge mess and ends up taking up more space in your living room than you bargained for.

The truly special part of dating a stoner is that you get to hang out with his entire gang of doobie brothers. So fill your fridge with cheap egg rolls and cans of Surge, and get ready to listen to long discussions about the Illumanti.

• If you want your stoner boy to visit often, invest in a big screen TV and a Sony Playstation. He might even end up as a roommate if you get premium cable.

• Have a fridge full of munchies and soda. He'll be hungry a lot. Ho-Hos are best.

• Don't get angry if he looks like he's not listening. Chances are he's really stoned. If he's not blinking, he might be dead.

• Prepare to watch many hours of Discovery Channel nature shows - especially during Shark Week. For some unknown reason, a stoner is easily mesmorized by these shows. There's no proof he'll remember any of the educational content, he's just looking at the pretty images.

• Scatter your floors with bean bags. Most stoners don't like to move much and need to be close to the floor.

• Know your conspiracy theories well. When he's stoned he'll want to talk about things like how the Smurfs are linked to the arrival of Vishnu. And he'll be serious, so try to supress any snickering.

• Lava lamps in your bedroom are a nice touch but beware of stoners who like a strobe light on during sex. You're having sex, not auditioning for a bad 80's music video.

• Don't expect him to be a snappy dresser. He'll probably wear Led Zepplin t-shirts and ripped jeans. In fact, you'll be lucky if he wears clothes that don't smell.

• Be concerned if he'll only have sex with you when he's stoned. Sex with you should be just as good sober as it is in the clouds. Otherwise, find a man who appreciates you, not just your body parts.

• Stay open-minded about holiday and birthday gifts. Since he spends most of his available cash in a headshop, he'll probably end up getting you a plastic honey bear bong before he'd ever contemplate buying jewelry.

• Get used to hanging out with his pals. Stoners usually travel in packs. This means you'll be treated more like a hostess than a girlfriend.

• Don't try to have a serious discussion about your relationship with him while he's stoned. When he's had a few hits, the only honest emotion he'll be able to convey is hunger.

• Aviod getting stuck dating the white boy who thinks he understands Bob Marley's struggle for human rights just because they have pot intake in common. Also stay clear of them if they sport makeshift dredlocks.

• Stop and think before you loan him any money. Will you ever see it again? After all, it's going to his dealer not his landlord.

• If you're ever hanging out at his pad, resist the temptation to tidy up. His place isn't messy because he's too busy to clean, it's a pit because cleaning might take up valuable time he could use to watch The Simpsons.

• Forget any chance of him picking up subtle hints about your feelings. In his stoner mental state, it's gonna take a skit using big fuzzy puppets for him to understand what you're saying.